I was in a relationship for four years. The relationship has ended and it was mutual but we were very good friends. There was no big fall out. Along the way in the relationship I supported financially a course he wanted to pursue as a lifes ambition. I requested when the money was handed over that if he went on ahead to finish the project the money was a gift but if you gave up along the way the money was a loan. He agreed to this and called it a "debt of honour." He used to often joke about us still being friends when on zimmers and visit each other for a cuppa in the nursing homes. Also said he hoped we could remain friends no matter what.

Since the amicable conversation I have made no contact this last month with him and neither has he contacted me. However I have heard he is in a full on relationship with another woman and has officially declared he is not going to finish the project. He and she are to set up home together.

Would a decent honest person not have told me something of this? One on the relationship and what I believed the enduring friendship front.

I find myself living frugally at this time and feeling short of cash. I feel sad……strangely not about the other woman I am ok with that but sad about the lack of honesty about the money I helped with in good faith and a belief in the route he felt was right for him. I believed he was honorable.

His lack of communication…….is it guilt? Is he likely to come clean? Or is he simply thinking he got away with using a trusting friend.

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Filed under: Nursing Home Guilt

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