How do people cope with the guilt of putting a parent in an Alzheimers Home?
Saturday, November 24th, 2012 at
7:50 am
I put my mom in a nursing home due to her Alzheimers and feel guilty about it every day. She cried and cried and still does. Support groups help, was wondering how other people cope with this situation.
Tagged with: alzheimers • mom • nursing home • support groups
Filed under: Nursing Home Guilt
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I am the caregiver of my mom, 87. who has early alzheimers. She started Aricept and it seems to slow down her loss of abilities, BUT she was still depressed though she was taking some Celexa (anti depressant)- cried and was very touchy/ emotional….. Dr. doubled her dose of anti-depressant and her functioning and mood both improved. I wonder if your mom needs her meds updated……
though i would cry too if i was put in a home- not saying that it was the wrong thing to do- my mom is VERY resistant to taking orders from her daughter- so having an attendant do daily needs in a home might actually be easier for her to accept. I feel for you.
Yes, support group might help. I see one in our local paper here, though have not gone yet. Dont feel guilty- she is probably getting better care than you could give her at home if you could do so. I have to fight with my mom to bathe and take her meds all the time. she calls me her "steamroller." I may have to do the same thing at some point; right now, taking it one day at a time. (and, this is my job as they pay me, or shall i say i pay myself, as i run the whole house now)
I do notice that though mom cannot remember details, she remembers the EMOTION of what happened. visit her often, encourage others in family, church group, friends, etc to visit and be positive and loving. it might make her feel better, to feel someone cares and brighten her day, even if she doesnt know who they are, she might remember the feeling.
Do they allow your mom to have any of her familiar items that might make her feel more at home? pictures of family with names labeled etc, any favorite book, doll, something that she can just hold and not feel so alone? I am going to get my mom a nice baby doll when the time comes. A friend who is a caregiver for her mom too told me her mom recently asked her what her first name was. we are going to both visit both our moms when/ if they have to go in a nursing home. maybe you could find someone else that could visit with your mom if you visited with theirs in the same home. it would be one more visit/love/stimulation. Just an idea. i will look back to see what others have to say, im headed the same direction.GL